In Memory of "Blogs" (2004-2004)

Internet revolution dead; Weblog Award politics make Golden Globes, even Nobel Prize appear credible by comparison

As a teenager, you swore you'd never be like your parents. And now the adult version of you swears that, if you were a famous actor/rock star, you'd use your celebrity to secure world peace, feed the hungry, and teach Cher how to dress.

But you're not an actor or a rock star — you're just some tedious schlub like every other clown who escaped from the rodeo. At least you've got a blog.

And so it goes with weblogs, or "blogs." Months ago, bloggers brought CBS to its knees by exposing Dan Rather's pathetic attempt to pass off obviously fake documents from an "unimpeachable source" in a transparent effort to smear President Bush.

Now that that election is over, we're all abuzz over the 2004 Weblog Awards! It's the geek Oscars with all the ego and none of the couture. So far we've got voter fraud, kidnapping threats, outings, bizarre introspection, meaningless endorsements, hurt feelings, shameless lobbying, obscure categories, debates over the meaning of "is" (i.e., "Is this blog really a blog?") … I'm just waiting for the streaker and the Native American woman to appear in Instapundit's place to decline the award in protest. (Yeah, I just linked to Instapundit. I thought I'd throw the kid a couple of hits to encourage him.)

I'm not certain what the prize is, but I'm pretty sure the statuette looks like a coffin with a big-ass nail in it.

UPDATE: I swear when I went out this morning to get the paper I saw Jonah Goldberg driving by in a Catwoman suit. I can't imagine how that's going to help.