Know Your Smites
Does anyone have any suggestions out there how to look more like a Christian but not necessarily like Pat Boone? From what I've been reading lately, it seems that non-Christians face a horrible, gruesome death just showing their faces outside in Bush's second term.
First was this gem from a movie review: Early in 2005, trends are pointing to a year in which ... the constant threat of lynching or crucifixion has caused you to lose your mind.
Amelia Sabadini, writing for the esteemed Massachusetts Daily Collegian, apparently doesn't want the next rash of American stonings on her conscience, so she too sends out a dire warning:
If anyone is going to take you seriously (or hire you), you'd better follow that memo that's likely in a pile next to the Collegian's fax machine: First, don't forget the threat of crucifixion; it's symbolic, you know. Second, I don't know what they're teaching in Journalism/Activism class these days, but the fictional waitress should have been raped, not "accidentally got pregnant." Amelia, let professional writer George Gurley take you to school: you could have said, "an 11-year-old impregnated by her blind, retarded serial-killer father with AIDS." Waitress was a nice touch, but osteo-arthritis?
What's funny is this: "Wait, there's more. You can also face the death penalty for pre-marital sex if you're a woman, heresy, blasphemy (yes that means saying "God damn") and apostasy... They sound pretty scary don't they? No way people with such extreme views could ever get into power right? Wrong.
Of course she's referring to the many "Christian Reconstructionists" who are in bed with President Bush, not to Muslim honor killers, who I believe fall under the "anti-choice, homophobic" umbrella and whose executions actually take place in Germany and other places that actually exist. But with Bush in power, the next Biblical execuation is just around the corner. Me, I'm gonna start selling Pat Boone sweaters and execution stones in my Cafe Press shop and clean up.
First was this gem from a movie review: Early in 2005, trends are pointing to a year in which ... the constant threat of lynching or crucifixion has caused you to lose your mind.
Amelia Sabadini, writing for the esteemed Massachusetts Daily Collegian, apparently doesn't want the next rash of American stonings on her conscience, so she too sends out a dire warning:
Is doing something like forcing a 42-year-old waitress who just accidentally got pregnant and already has two teenage kids, no husband, no health care and osteo-arthritis to carry to term worth sacrificing the safety and freedom of yourself and everyone you know? Do you really have such a need to stop two consenting adults from getting married just because you don't consider their relationship to be legitimate, proper or anything other than something you watch on cable after dark, that you're willing to risk a biblical execution (stoning, burning or hanging) over it?I did submit a comment to the paper, but it apparently hasn't been approved by the censor...I mean, moderator: "You forgot crucifixion. It's stoning, burning, hanging, and crucifixion. Know your smites."
If anyone is going to take you seriously (or hire you), you'd better follow that memo that's likely in a pile next to the Collegian's fax machine: First, don't forget the threat of crucifixion; it's symbolic, you know. Second, I don't know what they're teaching in Journalism/Activism class these days, but the fictional waitress should have been raped, not "accidentally got pregnant." Amelia, let professional writer George Gurley take you to school: you could have said, "an 11-year-old impregnated by her blind, retarded serial-killer father with AIDS." Waitress was a nice touch, but osteo-arthritis?
What's funny is this: "Wait, there's more. You can also face the death penalty for pre-marital sex if you're a woman, heresy, blasphemy (yes that means saying "God damn") and apostasy... They sound pretty scary don't they? No way people with such extreme views could ever get into power right? Wrong.
Of course she's referring to the many "Christian Reconstructionists" who are in bed with President Bush, not to Muslim honor killers, who I believe fall under the "anti-choice, homophobic" umbrella and whose executions actually take place in Germany and other places that actually exist. But with Bush in power, the next Biblical execuation is just around the corner. Me, I'm gonna start selling Pat Boone sweaters and execution stones in my Cafe Press shop and clean up.
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