A Pimp For the Shrimps

I hear you. You went to Saturday Mass to pray for the pope and ended up missing Nickelodeon's Kids' Choice Awards. Well, Saint K has you covered.

Self-diagnosed sex addict Usher took home the Blimp for "Best Male Singer" -- no great surprise, since the other three nominees -- Chingy, Nelly, and LL Cool J -- don't sing but rap.

I was kind of looking forward to Chingy's acceptance speech. Who knows what message he had prepared for the babes in arms in the largely up-past-bedtime audience? Likely something along the lines of his youth-empowerment anthem "Right Thurr":

The type of girl that'll get ya up and go make ya grind,
I'm thinking 'bout snatching her up dirty, making her mine,
Look at her hips, butt, look at her legs,
aint she stacked?
I sho wouldn't mind hittin' that from the back,
I like it when I touch her cause she moan a lil bit,
jeans saggin, so I can see her thong a lil bit,
I know you grown a lil bit,
20 years old you legal,
don't trip off my people just hop in the regal

If you have iTunes installed, click on over and sample "Jackpot the Pimp (Skit)" for a taste of Chingy's noted dedication to animal welfare. He eats, sleeps, and breathes pussy, motherfucker! Surely he'll have his own show on Nick next season.