Beyond the Valley of the Suck
On a scale of 1 to 10, today started out at -100. Called up my 77-year-old alcoholic dad in the trailer park bright and early and asked him for a loan so checks wouldn't start bouncing. Could I be a bigger failure? Hmmm...let's Google old girlfriends. Hey, lesbian ex-girlfriend went back to school and got her education degree so she could teach typing! This week: H, I, J, K and L. Good call -- that MA in English wasn't worth much, but I swear I use the letter "I," like, every single day. Jean Cocteau's Les Enfants Terribles? Not so much. Spent rest of day beating myself up for being such a loser and scouring the sleaziest drugstores in downtown Cleveland for vodka (Orloff, $3.69). Could this day suck any harder?
Well, mom could call this evening and break the news that dad has colon cancer. Man, would that suck. What? Dad does have colon cancer? At least I have my web log for comfort.
Well, mom could call this evening and break the news that dad has colon cancer. Man, would that suck. What? Dad does have colon cancer? At least I have my web log for comfort.
4 Comments:
Yeah, that sucks, all right. On the bright side, though, you're not hunkered down in the dark listening to the insane roaring of a huge monster that wants to eat you and your family, house and all. Which is what being in the path of a big hurricane feels like.
So where's your PayPal button?
Maclin, I'm glad you added that clarifying line about the hurricane at the end ... I was kind of wondering about your own mental state there for a moment.
Michael, I'll put up a PayPal button as soon as I come up with something cool to download in return.
Um, yeah, absent a hurricane I haven't had that spirit here since 1969.
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