Save the Environment - Nominate Kerry/Edwards '08

It would save so many trees if they didn't have to print all new bumper stickers this time around, since every single frigging car in Cleveland Heights still has one on the back bumper.

The Sound of Spam

I was cleaning out my Bulk Mail folder today and suddenly realized what a great techno CD the subject headers would make. Side 1 rocks hard, while Side 2 definitely sounds a little more introspective.

Slide 1

slake motivation
zoccur
to continue
which to pollution
rxfloozi

Slide 2

call me
for at ceiling
the ping
a special kiss
re: notice

The Hot Buttered Soul of Wit

Writing for Salon.com, Debra J. Dickerson today takes 1,905 words to convey what I said in one line from my Barack Obama carol: "He's black, but not too black."

Whites, on the other hand, are engaged in a paroxysm of self-congratulation; he's the equivalent of Stephen Colbert's "black friend." Swooning over nice, safe Obama means you aren't a racist.... If he were Ronald Washington from Detroit, even with the same résumé, he wouldn't be getting this kind of love. Washington would have to earn it, not just show promise of it, and even then whites would remain wary.

Think of the time you could save coming here instead of Salon; plus you get free music and no stupid sponsor "day pass." It's on me, baby.

Ex-Professor Claims Dog Feces Is Political Expression

South Park character and Colorado neighbor Mr. Hanky to testify -- no shit!

Do forgive the dear old professor; in her delusion she has also mistaken a steaming pile of dog crap for a political platform.

For Your Day-After-MLK Jr.-Day Viewing Pleasure

An old review of "Our Friend Martin."

I Have Never Seen "24"

I feel oddly compelled to confess that.

He Feels My Pain

"Even I, who am deaf, find that painful to listen to."

- Rush Limbaugh, upon playing a Cindy Sheehan soundbite.

Won't Someone Think of the Elephants?

For a country that prefers its elephants crucified rather than worshipped, we sure do love those big smelly things. Sick of Google's liberal shenanigans, I recently signed up with GoodSearch, which promises to donate to the cause of your choice. Apparenlty the Lupus Foundation will now get .000001 cent every time I do a search for nude photos of Jessica Alba. But the big winner, according to Good Search's "success stories" sidebar, are the elephants:

• The Elephant Sanctuary, $2,260
• St. Jude Children's Research Hospital, $920
  
• Save Darfur, $820
  

Which leads me to believe that either Brit boy band has-been Lee "What About Whales?" Ryan is more influential than I thought possible, or Kim Basinger is running non-stop online queries in search of her career.

Tower of London, Texas Wing

Apparently the New World doesn't seem so new to the Brits. The worldly London Times on Saddam Hussein's execution:

The scene had begun to resemble a medieval execution or a wild hanging in Texas.

In this Yank's opinion, Mississippi's been the place for wild medieval-style hangings, at least since 2004. Someone on the tourist bureau's getting fired.